gooeykit:

I love you fat people I’m so sorry about the world

hotvampireadjacent:

The power just died I was literally in the middle of canceling hello fresh their snipers got me

bowserwife:

You know what they say, you snooze you lose. And it looks like, you snost and you lost.

evilscientist3:

Passed my autopsy with flying colours. There was so much inside me

veliseraptor:

just-shower-thoughts:

Somewhere in the world, there is a tree that sprouted the same day you were born and has been growing along with you.

#I wish it sufficient rain and gentle sun and deep roots #and all the joys of a hundred thousand leaves dancing in the breeze (via @curiosity-killed)

desinteresse:

People who are unable to suspend their disbelief are so boring. Like holy shit you discovered this fictional story does not 100% correlate with our reality? Should we call CNN? Should we invite Beyoncé?

ot3:

theres a lot of stuff in life that can be categorized as ‘a sick joke’ but the fact that fondant doesnt even taste good is pretty high up there for me

herssian:

i recently had a thought. which, as you can imagine, was stressful

ariabauer:

weaver-z:

I love predictions of the future that oscillate between “eerily prescient” and “what the hell are you talking about?” Like that description of the year 2,000 written in 1933 where the author predicts flatscreen television, the glass wall trend in the homes of the wealthy, and the obsolescence of stuffed mattresses, but is also convinced that normal showers will be replaced by a device called the VAPOR LANCE that VAPORIZES the DIRT on you

Sometimes Apollo hits writers with prophecy and sometime it’s Hephaestus trying to make a pitch for his new product